Thursday, December 2, 2010

God Damn-- I mean... ?

Blasphemy. Doesn't really serve a purpose anymore, does it? I mean, Holy Zeus, am I a hypocrite for acknowledging a god in some small way by damning it?

I'd like to think not. It's just words, after all. It's something made up to help give expression to anger or frustration. Just because I say "fuck" doesn't mean I'm actually talking about sexual intercourse. I don't know much about the etymology of swears, but I sure do enjoy using them. And "god damn" may be one of my favorites... it's a close second to just using "JESUS CHRIST." Sometimes I may or may not give Jesus a middle name that isn't mentioned in the Bible.

I started thinking about this a while back at work when I had the most comical/graceful slipping-and-almost-but-not-quite fall in the middle of the dining room. Someone had spilled olive oil on the floor and my right leg flew out in front of me as my arms windmilled, flailing wildly. I ended up performing something that looked a bit like a ballet move as all the surrounding customers GASPED audibly. Thankfully, my hands were empty at the time. And I shouted,


at the top of my lungs. In retrospect, I'm quite pleased with myself for not shouting out something more offensive. I'm lucky that most of our clientele are either gay or Jewish, and likely don't care about such things. My mother is the type of person who takes offense at Valley Girl types saying, "Like, gawd, totally, for sure" too much. To her, even saying, "Oh, god" is using the "lord's name in vain."

If I don't believe in any of these imaginary figures, why do I invoke them when I am most frightened or angry? Old habit? I actually used them less when I was a believer. Or maybe it's just utterly satisfying to abuse the words. They are unbelievably satisfying.

So what? Does this make me a hypocrite? It might take some practice, but I could get used to saying "FSM damn it" or "For the love of INVISIBLE PINK UNICORN!" Sure I could.


  1. Either way it's not really blasphemy. Back in the day in Nazareth the rules against taking the lords name in vain referred to actually saying Yahweh or Jehovah. God was a title not a name. Saying Oh God! is linguistically speaking EXACTLY the same as saying Oh LORD!

  2. A certain niece of yours has a better-than-average chance of having her first word be "Goddamnit"


This is a place for thoughtful discussion or humor, not attacks. If you disagree, please keep it polite. If you wouldn't say it that way in person, don't post it. We're not that angry here. And lighten up. Thanks!