Bible Quiz #2

Quiz #2 from the lovely Crystal. 

When the prophet Elisha came out of the water, 42 little children teased him by saying "Go up, thou bald head!" How did Elisha react?

A. He cursed their children, and their children's children to be   bald.
B. He ran away crying, clutching his head in shame.
C. He called upon two bears to tear the children limb from limb.
D. He laughed at their innocent joke, and gave them gifts of sweets and shoes.

Again, I was surprised to see a Bible story I didn't even recognize! Oh, and since I didn't check the answer before posting this, I'm going to guess A... although I'm particularly fond of answer C. 

What do you think?

Bible Quiz!

My life has become a chaotic (but awesome) mess recently, so until it calms down a bit, I'd like to entertain you all with a treat from my friend Crystal. She's been posting these lovely Bible Quizzes on Facebook, and I adore them.

Let's play, shall we?

BIBLE QUIZ TIME! 

God sends an Angel to speak to Balaam as he's riding along on his donkey. The Angel stands right in the Balaam's path. The donkey responds by:

A. Walking straight through the Angel's belly.
B. Bouncing off of the Angel's body and then convulsing on the ground.
C. Getting spooked and running in the opposite direction.
D. Turning to Balaam to ask "What're you hitting me for, don't you see this Angel??"

Leave your answer in the comments! No peeking at the link until you've guessed!

GD IS LV... A powerful message for us all.

 

I saw this lovely license plate as GOP's other half and I were driving around town. Forgive the bad image-- you try taking a photo in a moving car at night!

I don't get this kind of proclamation via license plate. God is Love. Wow. Original and clever. Good for you. I hope this driver is some kind of minister, otherwise, is this really the focus of their life? Is this the total summation of their philosophy? 

"God is Love" doesn't make any sense, either. I doubt they're some kind of "spiritual" type person who thinks that Love is God... meaning that love triumphs all evil and that the presence of love and the capacity to love is the closest to godliness that any of us can get. That sort of philosophy I can get on board with. When someone is shocked by my atheism, gasps, and asks, "But what do you BELIEVE in??" I can usually at least placate them by saying that I believe in love.

But I don't think that was the message this SUV driving do-gooder was going after. I'm sure they were trying to tell us that God is all-loving. That he loves unconditionally. Well, no. 

LOVE ME OR I SEND YOU TO HELL! WORSHIP ME ON THE SABBATH OR I SEND YOU TO HELL! In most religions, you have to at least repent at the last second or be "saved" to get into Heaven. That's not really unconditional love.

Even if you belong to a religion like Judaism that doesn't believe in Heaven or Hell... you still have to admit that isn't a very loving god. The Old Testament god is certainly not a loving god, but a vengeful, spiteful, wrath and fury sort of god. Let's not forget my favorite Hollywood temple...

So.... I'm still confused. Who is this god that's all love? Because I have yet to see evidence for it.

WAIT! Unless I'm interpreting this all wrong. Could that license plate actually mean:

God Damn IS L'Heart

Of course! This person isn't religious! They're just emo and have been tortured by love! I totally get it now! Are there some interpretations that I'm missing here?

Crystal Cathedral files for bankruptcy OR Jesus and Money

Boo hoo. Your giant mega church just filed for bankruptcy. You avoided paying vendors to the point that they felt they had to sue you in order to get their money. Reverend Schuller has been at the head of the church since he founded it in a drive-in movie theater decades ago. He tried to pass on leadership to his son, but then removed him when there was some kind of family disagreement about the direction in which the church should head. Now, Schuller's daughter, Sheila, runs the church.

She said the bankruptcy declaration "is just one more chapter in the book that He is continuing to write -- and we know that God's plans are good -- we have no doubt His chapter will be good!"

Ha. Yeah. Chapter 11 in the Good Book. Schuller isn't the worst of the worst. He doesn't practice hate speech. He doesn't espouse a completely literal take on the Bible. On the topic of homosexuality and gay marriage, he generally dodges around it, saying that he thinks that male/female marriage is the ideal... blah, blah, blah.  But he believes in destiny and that God meant for him to carry His message and all that.  Most of their sermons are completely generic and carry a message about "YOU can do it, just trust in God and he'll take care of EVERYTHING" and phony self-esteem messages.

The biggest problem I have with the Crystal Cathedral and similar type churches is how much money they suck out from trusting citizens. That money could be put to soooooo many better uses. Instead, it constructed a multi-million dollar building out of glass.

It also is just plain silly. Take, for example, this interview the church had with an author about God and Money. Appropriate, I thought, given the church's financial troubles. Let me give you the highlights of the author's financial advice:

First, pray. Invite the Lord of the universe to be part of your financial life. Then secondly, review. Review what you had come in and go out that week [...] And then lastly, celebrate [...] celebrate when the Lord allows you to pay off that credit card. Celebrate together.

SSC:    How did you get into the finances found in God's word? I find that fascinating.
HD:     Well back in the early seventies, my business partner asked me to join him in a study of the bible to find out what it said about money. We didn't know. We had new families and a new business. So we spent a year and read through the entire bible and identified two thousand three hundred and fifty verses dealing with money.
SSC:    I had no idea there were that many bible verses on money.
HD:     It totally blew us away. Fifteen percent of everything that Jesus said had to do with money.
SSC:    Wow, so it must be important.
HD:     It is. And I think the real key for us is that Christ knew that from time to time all of us would have struggles over money. I believe He wanted to equip us to handle money wisely so that's why He gave us these principles that are so applicable today.

Then he basically says to not spend more than you have to on anything and put all surplus money towards paying off debt. Well, DUH. I don't think you need Jesus to tell you that. I also find it interesting that he left out verses like this:

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'"

-Matthew 19:23-24

"Jesus answered, 'If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'" -Matthew 19:21
 

I'm just saying that it's almost impossible for a Christian to NOT be hypocritical. 

So, if the Crystal Cathedral didn't espouse the worst kind of Christian hate, can I still be pleasantly amused by their Chapter 11?

I just think that if you're going to be a church or pretend to be a prophet in the name of Jesus, you can't go around collecting and spending millions annually.  It's hypocrisy and a waste of money and time that could be devoted to something better.

Sam Harris and Morality

Sam Harris was on 89.3 KPCC today promoting his new book, The Moral Landscape. He tries to argue that science can define morality based on assessing the effect of an action on the well-being and ability to flourish of humans and animals. He argues that we don't need God to tell right from wrong. He's been pushing the book like crazy. Sam Harris hasn't posted on his web page for ages and all of a sudden, BAM! Four posts in one day!

jurvetson/Flickr (cc by-nc-nd

Of course, I agree that we don't need a god or religion to tell right from wrong. Some would argue that I have a moral compass because my mother is religious and I was raised in a religious household. However, I do not believe in God now and follow no religion. The Bible is DEFINITELY not the basis of my morality. I definitely don't believe in slavery or the subjugation of women or stoning....so, you know, I DON'T believe the Bible or any other Holy Book is a good basis of morality. Certainly, there are people who do great harm and incredibly immoral things in the name of religion. So where's their moral compass? Clearly, the God Compass isn't working right in them!!

I follow a philosophy of "Do Least Harm." I try not to bring hurt or pain to others, and try to limit the hurt and pain I place upon our environment. I don't eat animals, I recycle... this is a part of my morality. I don't think that using fear of god or the threat of hell or the reward of heaven is a good basis of morality. This promotes IMMORAL behavior, I think... If you think you can be an asshole all of the time, but at the last minute go to confession or "find" Jesus, that's not very moral. So, you kill a person? No big deal! Repent, and all is forgiven! BULLSHIT. The victim's family will not forget and there will be plenty of people who won't forgive.

Occasionally, I'll consider doing something "immoral"... like, taking the $10 left in the self check-out machine. But, *sigh* I would want someone to turn it in if I forgot it, so I hand it over to the supervising cashier. Maybe he pocketed it, but that's on him. I'm an extremely honest person because I am extremely empathetic. How would I feel if I were in their place? I found another server's book, forgotten, left lying around and filled with money. Guess what? I returned it. Even though I didn't care for that person. I would hate it if that happened to me. Sometimes my morality is based on guilt, but not on God's... it's based on my mother. Sometimes her voice just pops up in my head.

The Sam Harris interview was interesting, but I don't know (based on this interview) that he made a strong argument for science as a basis for morality. I doubt that religious people who listened to it were particularly convinced. When the subject of promiscuity was brought up, I thought that I could have added more to the conversation.

Sam Harris argued that pair bonding and stable relationships are most fulfilling and conducive to well-being for most people, therefore there is an argument in its favor based on scientific studies. I would also argue that promiscuity puts one at a higher risk for STDs and emotional stress, therefore it isn't the best choice to make. I know that I would use these facts when discussing sexuality with my own children. But I also don't think that remaining a virgin until your wedding day is a moral/immoral choice. I think it's an unwise choice. Relationships last longer and are more successful if the partners involved are well matched sexually, so it makes sense to "test drive" (so to speak) before making long term commitments. And hey, six years of monogamy has worked for us and *GASP* we're atheists!

The TEN COMMANDMENTS are a joke

A couple days ago a co-worker mentioned that they didn't understand why anyone would have an objection to the 10 Commandments being displayed somewhere. The obvious objection, I said, was separation of church and state. Secularists object to a religious text being on government/public grounds. "But there's nothing WRONG with the ten commandments!" she argued.

Oh, but there is! The first three or four commandments (depending on your religion) all have to do with honoring God. What a jealous and petty god! It needs a WHOLE day devoted to its holiness? Geez, how narcissistic! And besides, there's a whole lot of things that I find offensive that I would include on a list of Commandments that certainly don't make it on, mainly rape, sexual assault, and the exploitation of human beings in general. And slaves are okay, I just can't take them from my neighbor.

The Ten Commandments are also the perfect example of how self-contradictory, widely interpreted, and variously translated the Bible is. I don't understand how anyone can know anything about the Bible and view it as the WORD OF GOD when it is so clearly the convoluted WORD OF MAN. You don't need to be a Bible scholar to figure this one out either. Just look at the Wikipedia article on the Ten Commandments. There's a lot of variation.

Moreover, why are Christians so reverent about the Ten Commandments? If one claimed to be a follower of JESUS, wouldn't they hold the Beatitudes a little more holy? Of all religious sentiments, I definitely favor those over the Ten Commandments. Of course, those have contradicting versions (Matthew vs. Luke) just like everything else in the Bible.

But, in a violent power-hungry society, the Christian Right is never going to value things like the poor, the mourners, the hungry, the meek, the peacemakers, etc... Even though that's what their Holy Book tells them to value. Typical.

Here's my Commandment:

DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE!