Bible Quiz #2

Quiz #2 from the lovely Crystal. 

When the prophet Elisha came out of the water, 42 little children teased him by saying "Go up, thou bald head!" How did Elisha react?

A. He cursed their children, and their children's children to be   bald.
B. He ran away crying, clutching his head in shame.
C. He called upon two bears to tear the children limb from limb.
D. He laughed at their innocent joke, and gave them gifts of sweets and shoes.

Again, I was surprised to see a Bible story I didn't even recognize! Oh, and since I didn't check the answer before posting this, I'm going to guess A... although I'm particularly fond of answer C. 

What do you think?

Bible Quiz!

My life has become a chaotic (but awesome) mess recently, so until it calms down a bit, I'd like to entertain you all with a treat from my friend Crystal. She's been posting these lovely Bible Quizzes on Facebook, and I adore them.

Let's play, shall we?

BIBLE QUIZ TIME! 

God sends an Angel to speak to Balaam as he's riding along on his donkey. The Angel stands right in the Balaam's path. The donkey responds by:

A. Walking straight through the Angel's belly.
B. Bouncing off of the Angel's body and then convulsing on the ground.
C. Getting spooked and running in the opposite direction.
D. Turning to Balaam to ask "What're you hitting me for, don't you see this Angel??"

Leave your answer in the comments! No peeking at the link until you've guessed!

GD IS LV... A powerful message for us all.

 

I saw this lovely license plate as GOP's other half and I were driving around town. Forgive the bad image-- you try taking a photo in a moving car at night!

I don't get this kind of proclamation via license plate. God is Love. Wow. Original and clever. Good for you. I hope this driver is some kind of minister, otherwise, is this really the focus of their life? Is this the total summation of their philosophy? 

"God is Love" doesn't make any sense, either. I doubt they're some kind of "spiritual" type person who thinks that Love is God... meaning that love triumphs all evil and that the presence of love and the capacity to love is the closest to godliness that any of us can get. That sort of philosophy I can get on board with. When someone is shocked by my atheism, gasps, and asks, "But what do you BELIEVE in??" I can usually at least placate them by saying that I believe in love.

But I don't think that was the message this SUV driving do-gooder was going after. I'm sure they were trying to tell us that God is all-loving. That he loves unconditionally. Well, no. 

LOVE ME OR I SEND YOU TO HELL! WORSHIP ME ON THE SABBATH OR I SEND YOU TO HELL! In most religions, you have to at least repent at the last second or be "saved" to get into Heaven. That's not really unconditional love.

Even if you belong to a religion like Judaism that doesn't believe in Heaven or Hell... you still have to admit that isn't a very loving god. The Old Testament god is certainly not a loving god, but a vengeful, spiteful, wrath and fury sort of god. Let's not forget my favorite Hollywood temple...

So.... I'm still confused. Who is this god that's all love? Because I have yet to see evidence for it.

WAIT! Unless I'm interpreting this all wrong. Could that license plate actually mean:

God Damn IS L'Heart

Of course! This person isn't religious! They're just emo and have been tortured by love! I totally get it now! Are there some interpretations that I'm missing here?

Astrology is just as stupid as religion

Ah, the silliness of the all.

I am no longer a Capricorn, my friends. I am now a Sagittarius, like GOP's other half. I wonder, has our compatibility now changed as a result? Are we more or less destined to be together? Our roommate is no longer a Gemini, but a Taurus. Hopefully, this means he'll be a little less crazy and two-faced.

Today's announcement that our old astrology charts are now all out of whack because of the Earth's tilt will completely alter the lives of all of those Zodiac worshipers out there. There's even a new sign, Ophiuchus, which I don't even know how to pronounce. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE! I don't understand them, therefore, I don't trust them!

Via

I have a dear friend who owns a book that breaks down a person's zodiac sign to the very week that they were born and has a detailed match-up of each personality. The book weighs about a ton, and my friend is thoroughly convinced of its accuracy. Personally, I find it to be more than a little absurd, but the fact that someone put so much effort into the creation is fascinating. But what does this new zodiac mean to that book? Is it now all false???

The comments this is generating are priceless... People saying that they are REAL Libras, not fake ones, and "Born a Pisces, always a Pisces." My favorite ones though are from people saying that this news won't make them change their tattoos!! Yeah! You tell 'em.


Astrology is just as silly as religion. It's all made-up stories meant to comfort people and give them reasons for the unexplainable, to give order to a chaotic universe.

Now, let's play a game. I'm going to put up a profile for a zodiac sign, and you try to guess which one it's for (no Google cheating).... READY? GO!

This dramatic, creative, and outgoing sign has the keyword magnetism for good reason. Fiery and self-assured, a _____'s charm can be almost impossible to resist. Whether it's time spent with family and friends or efforts on the job scene, a ______ is going to bring a lot to the table.

The Story of the Christ Child

At work, I began a discussion about having religious Christmas music playing and whether or not anyone was bothered by it. Generic secular Christmas music certainly doesn't bother me, in fact, I rather enjoy it! Even the religious music doesn't bother me as much. I grew up with it, so I sort of have nostalgic feelings towards it. Although, "Silent Night" and anything specifically referencing a virgin birth is sort of weird to me when it plays in a public place. Like a restaurant. I just think it's a little odd in a restaurant where a decent percentage of our guests are Jewish or non-religious.

Gross. That's just weird.

This led to me telling a story about my best friend in 6th grade whose father was Catholic and her mother Jewish. The family celebrated both Hanukkah and Christmas. Coming from an area with very few Jewish families, my friend and neighbor explained to me the story of Hanukkah and its traditions. However, while the family put up Christmas decorations and exchanged presents on Christmas, my friend had never been to a Catholic church and had absolutely no idea what the Biblical Christmas story was... so I explained it to her.

Now, as I told this story, a co-worker who grew up in a relatively non-religious household confessed that as an adult, he really didn't know the Biblical story either. So, I tried to explain it. And I laughed. It really sounded ridiculous.

An angel tells a teenage girl named Mary that she's going to have a baby! But Mary is a VIRGIN! Mary cons her boyfriend, Joseph, into marrying her so she will be respectable. Joseph calls Mary a lying whore and stomps off. That night, he's visited by an angel in a dream, telling him that Mary is telling the truth. This scares the crap out of Joseph, so he marries the now-pregnant-by-God Mary.

When Mary is uber-pregnant, the couple travels to Bethlehem to pay taxes (or participate in the census, depending on the version). Mary rides on a donkey. Anyway, when they get to Bethlehem, the inns are all booked up, so they end up sleeping in a stable. There, Mary gives birth to Jesus. And a whole boatload of angels show up and sing, probably freaking everybody out.

Meanwhile, a great big star shines overhead, and a bunch of shepherds travel to the stable and pay homage to Jesus. Because some angels told them to do it. OR if you read a different account, some "wise men" see the star, interpret it as a sign, and travel all the way to Bethlehem from who knows where and bring Baby Jesus some useless, but probably valuable gifts.

Wow.  As always, you can count on Wikipedia for plainly spelling out all of the wonderful contradictions that exist in the Bible even for the most simple of stories. I love it. And as an adult, I now get to enjoy the incredulity on the faces of those who grew up in a totally secular environment as I tell the traditional Christian story of Christmas.

But you know the version I like best? The short, but sweet, version told on Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special, our household's favorite holiday movie tradition! It's utterly delightful.

It's the TRUE MEANING of Christmas at 1:20. Thanks for explaining it to me Pee Wee!